The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe aired on Monday night, with a large number of the beforehand reported digs — at both roastee Rob Lowe and roaster Ann Coulter — making it to air.

The special, which was taped on Aug. 27 in Los Angeles, accumulated a huge number of big names to tear on Lowe over his acting vocation, impeccably great looks and notorious past contacts and sex tape — while his family, spouse Sheryl Berkoff and children Matthew, 22, and John Owen, 20, sat in the crowd.

Coulter, be that as it may, ended up to be beneficiary of the night’s most searing hits. The traditionalist political reporter was often panned to all through the dish, indicating viewers of the Comedy Central extraordinary exactly how unamused she was by her kindred roasters.

Roasters included Jimmy Carr, Coulter, Pete Davidson, Nikki Glaser, Jewel, Ralph Macchio, Peyton Manning, Rob Riggle and Jeff Ross, with David Spade served as Roast Master.
Underneath, a gathering of the absolute most stunning jokes of the night, in the request they were conveyed.

Here are the 75 shocking jokes:

“That’s right: we’re here to honor one of the biggest stars of 1987, with some of the biggest stars of 1984.” — David Spade

“I drove over with him. I gave him 5 stars.” — Spade on Macchio

“Many of you know Rob from Parks & Rec, some of you know him from The West Wing, a couple people know him from Grinder — and if you swiped right, you met him in person 10 minutes later.” — Spade

“For years Rob Lowe had a sex addiction. He cured it by getting less famous.” — Spade

“I was at a casting meeting for Tommy Boy when I came across your headshot, and I do mean came across.” — Spade on Lowe

“It’s not easy being Rob. He said being so handsome made it difficult for him to find meaningful roles. I wanted to ask Brad Pitt about that, but he was too busy acting in meaningful roles.” — Spade

“Our younger audience might now know who Rob Lowe is. So kids, this is who your mom thinks about when she’s f—ing your dad.” — Spade

“Some of you may know Rob from the West Wing. Rob, I assume your pal Charlie Sheen helped you out with that. He’s used to working with aids.” — Spade

“Rob was in Austin Powers 16 years ago. Can you believe it’s 16? Or as he calls it, 18.” — Spade

“He was excited to meet the cat Mr Bigglesworth since it had been a while since he had made a movie with a hairless cat.” — Spade on Lowe in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

“Rob has been sober 26 years. To put that in perspective. If sobriety was a baby, he would have f—ed it 10 years ago.” — Spade

“Rob has been called the comeback kid. No I read that wrong. Rob has come on a kid. Glad we got that out of the way.” — Spade

“Is Pete white? Is he black? Ann Coulter needs to know so she can decide if she hates him.” — Spade

“Ann Coulter, if you’re here who’s scaring the crows away from our crops?” — Pete Davidson

“Last year we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets, and now we have Ann Coulter who cuts eye holes in them.” — Davidson

“Rob Lowe, or as gonorrhea patients call him: Patient zero.” — Davidson

“People call Rob Lowe a bad actor, but that’s because they never saw him tell his wife he didn’t f— that nanny.” — Davidson

“The only thing shorter than David Spade is Jewel’s greatest hits album.” — Rob Riggle

“Holy shit, is that Ann Coulter? Ann Coulter is here, which can mean only one thing: someone must’ve said her name three times. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.” — Riggle

“Rob, in both your sex tapes you appeared with two other people — good God, you can’t even carry a sex tape.” — Riggle

“Fun fact: Ann Coulter has a big angry bush. No joke, that’s just a fun fact.” — Riggle

“Rob, you’re a good friend and a good man and I can’t wait to see what failed pilot we’re going to do next year.” — Riggle

“As a feminist, I can’t support everything that’s being said up here tonight. But as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.” — Jewel

“You all know his assistant tried to kill him. I guess the stress of answering the phone twice finally got to him.” — Jewel on Spade

“David Spade has slept with some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. Proving just how ugly show business makes women feel.” — Jewel

“Who doesn’t love Ralph Macchio? Bill collectors. And actual karate masters. And real actors. Italians. You know: people.” — Jewel

“You look like every dad who can’t handle having a gay son.” — Jewel on Riggle

“Peyton Manning is here because Eli is still out there making his dad proud.” — Jewel

“Jeff Ross is going to party like it’s 1999. Ann Coulter is going to vote like It’s 1899.” — Jewel

“Ann you do look great though, you’re almost as thin as Donald Trump’s chance at winning the election.” — Jewel

“She ordered something to go. The entire kitchen staff. She was like leave … the country.” — Jewel on being behind Coulter in line at Chipotle

“Gay men love Ann Coutler. It’s because two minutes into hearing her speak, they remember why they hate pussy.” — Jewel

“Rob you are such a whore / you completely forgot we hooked up before. You showed me your penis / when I was just 16-ish. Back in 1988 / I was the girl on your sex tape. Maybe you missed my name / because you were high on so much cocaine. Out of all your films / I’m the best thing you were ever in.” — Jewel to the tune of “You Were Meant For Me”

“One of the most repugnant, hateful hatchet bitches alive, but it’s not too late to change, Ann – you could kill yourself.” — Jimmy Carr

“Ann Coulter’s pussy — seriously this gets classy — Ann Coulter’s pussy is now so old and dry that it just got a job drawing cartoons for The New Yorker.” — Carr

“Ralph Macchio was at the very top of the list, and that list was marked: Worst case scenario.” — Carr

Pages 1 of 2
Next >